Ever had the experience of someone just disappearing from your life? That they, for no apparent reason, just seem to stop existing? Like they have vanished from the earth, though you know that they are out there somewhere? How did that make you feel? Did you feel angry? Or sad? Disappointed maybe?
Those are the moments you really realize just how much or how little the relationship or connection meant to you. If you are not affected by it so much, then maybe the connection was really done, had lived its course and had to come to a close. If you are affected, then you have the chance of finding out what you loved about that person so much. It is like writer and poet Kahlil Gibran says: ‘What you love most about your friend might be easier seen when they are absent’. You will also start to notice what needs were once met by the connection with your now-vanished friend by the aching deep in your soul.
And in their disappearing you will see that even though you are without them once again, you are not the same person as before you met. You will notice how your connection has affected your life. How the existence of the other person has allowed you to be different from who you were before. In that change brought about in you, you feel the realness of that persons being, a reminder that the person was not just a figment of your imagination, but is still with you though separated by time.
But even so, even with all the love you notice in your heart and all the change you see in your mind, you still feel yourself calling out into the void, hoping to hear them echo back. You still feel yourself reaching backwards, hoping to find a hand to hold. You still fall, hoping for arms to catch you. You will speak half a sentence, hoping to hear a whole one in the end. You pass the ball, hoping for a game. But you find none; the void does not echo; your hand remains lonely; your fall is not broken nor your sentence finished. Not only has your teammate not returned your pass, you turn around to find the entire arena empty.
That is when it hits you, that is when it hurts, that is when you know the game is truly over. That is when you sit down to mourn for what is lost, to cry all your tears, express all your sorrows. And only when all of it has seeped into the ground and only gratitude for what was and what was gained remains, only then you get up to leave the field, to turn of the lights and to return to life. Holding the memory of a great game tight to your chest and close to your heart. Thank you, it whispers.