– No one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again –
John Green in ‘Turtles all the way down’
So what am I to make of all this? What am I supposed to think? Was it really a goodbye when we last departed? Or was it an open end? It already felt different when you exchanged the last hug, the last smiles and your last waves. But also, it felt so secure. Like you knew it would return, that it was not the end, just the middle of the beginning.
I trusted you. I trust you. I still do, but I work for it. Because this silence, this never-ending, wretched silence, is enough to make the strongest believer stumble. It is not me, I know. I want to trust you, although… where will it lead us? Where will it take us? Why am I here and you there? Why am I now, why was I not then? Why was I not then? But then, it would not have made a difference. Me then, would not have liked you then. It is only because we were what we are now, that we could love each others company.